I got the bird

Just a quick antidote from last night...

I was sitting quietly, strumming away gently on the guitar trying to master a chord change or two when I heard something fall over in another room. I wandered through, expecting to see a picture on the floor and a hole in the wall, but nothing seemed amiss. There was then another crash, this time identifiably from the bathroom. As I stood in the room, trying to figure out what had fallen, twice, there was another one. It seemed to be coming from under the bath itself!
As visions of the bath collapsing through a water damaged floor into the foundations of the house, I removed the front panel of the bath. As I took it off, a black object scuttled from the darkness across the floor. "Shit! A Rat!", was the pant-filling thought running through my
head. Then the black thing took flight. "Shit! A Flying Rat!" was the next moronic thought. "Oh wait, it's more likely a bird" was the schizophrenic conversation going on inside. As I scuttled through the house, with the pose of an inexperienced helicopter passenger alighting, I opened all the doors and windows until the occupying forces found a retreat route.
Underlying question - how on earth does a bird type object get into such a position to start with?
The investigation continues.