Kill or Cure

I wanted to use this opportunity to share some thoughts. It's quite common for me to brain dump, as my IT brethern know very well, but I'm feeling my yin and yang in perfect balance and feel I can share knowledge and wisdom rather than rant aimlessly as I am prone to do.
The NHS is pish, I know this due to numerous episodes whereby their assistance has been required over the last number of years, but let me recount this experience for your perusal. You should also understand that towards the end, some advice is given, so it's not just an excuse for a moan, honest.
I had a sore shoulder. No big deal in itself, but it lasted a few days, then I couldn't move on Saturday morning, constant pain and all that. So, cue trip to casualty and usual lack of interest, waiting and eventual dismissal as a muscular strain which would take about a week to go away. Under duress, the Doc finally made good with the drugs, so diathamole, or something like that was dispensed; but the 'piss off unless there's something hanging by the last sinew to your badly maimed body' attitude makes me really annoyed.
Anyway, to the interesting bit. I was then taken to a Chinese medical practice (you know, one of those health shops) and the 'Doctor' agreed to see me immediately. The wee chinese guy could speak two words of Engrish - 'O.K.' and 'Betta?'. He took me into a room and I lay on my good side. Some straps were wrapped and secured around my right arm in three equidistant places, wrist to shoulder and then plugged into the electrical control panel. I was a little concerned at this point. He then brought out some sort of microphone shaped object, with a shiny head. I was a little more concerned at this point. As he touched my shoulder with the mic, it send a shock through my body, tensing the muscles in my shoulder and arm. He then proceeded to work on me for 20 minutes with this instrument. It would pulse these electrical shocks for half a second every 3 seconds or so, which varied between causing a reasonable clench of muscle and some pretty serious pain. I must admit to being close to telling him to stop a few times, and I did admit to the Kennedy shooting.
After all this was fnished, he went for the acupuncture approach and stuck some needles into various places, including my shins. This is all about 'meridian' points all over the body. I've had quite a bit of acupuncture before, so this wasn't too bad.
So, another 20 minutes later I was done. I wish I could say I was ready to give up the Robocop impersonator career, but not quite yet. I was, however, only stiff instead of sore, and had a bit of movement back too.
The 'doctor' then gave me a bottle of black balls (pills), I was to take 8(!) of these 3 times a day. He also gave me a little bottle of (Tree Oil) oil, which I was to rub in to the sore area before bed - "Only three drops, no more", and a packet of plasters, with chinese writing on them. £65 the lot, treatment included.
Ah well, it was worth a try, and I'm sure he'll enjoy the money.
I did take the pellets, then had the oil rubbed in before bed and took one of the plasters and stuck it over the sore area. I noted the plasters did have a bit of a smell, which probably made them worth the £5. After a couple of minutes it all went hot, and stayed hot for the rest of the night.
I woke in the morning to find that most of the pain had gone, almost full movement returned and a spring in my step.
So, as morals are the way forward for these stories, here's the one from this.
Shove yer NHS right up yer bahookie.
update
Wood Lock Oil