Dag 614: rugged and wretched

Twas a dark and stormy night. The rain lashed down and the wind blew sideways. In a dark damp cave the 3 fugitives were huddling around the dying embers of the smoldering fire and wondering what they could do next. One of them spotted Harry Potter out of the corner of his eye and another one noticed a Scottish singer from Texas. The third one began to feel nervous. What kind of trickery could this be?

Well fear not good people, it is simply the Weekly Woss Weport and those 3 fugitives are merely a figment of your imagination.

Following a bit of banter to get both audience an guests feeling comfortable with each others sexuality, the first guest is on the podium. It is someone from Cheers (which is a TV program) and he is talking about being kidnapped by someone. This could be a bit disturbing for our younger readers so you may be advised to look away for this bit. But it does seem to end up ok because he got a cab or something.

Whenever someone tells something to Jonathan and then says I shouldn't have said that, Jonathan always says "It's ok no one noticed". He said it again tonight.

It seems that this ex cheers actor is into hemp in some way. All of his clothes are made out of it, but I can't say that I understand what point he is trying to get across. Personally, I really enjoyed all those shots that I had with Adrian in the Tapas bar on Gamla Stan, made by Michael the barman. I think my favourate was the liquid cocaine one (I had quite a few of those), but they were all pretty good.

I should add, at this point, that I am currently trying to do 3 things at once:
1) Watch the Jonathan Woss show so I can weport on it.
2) Do the actual typing up of the woss weport.
3) Tranfser all the stuff off my old P800 phone so I can take my sim out and put it into my new W800i, which will then enable me to switch it on for the first time. I don't even know what games its got on it yet.

Now it is time for a female Scottish singer, who I haven't got a hope of spelling her name correctly, so I won't even bother trying. She is rather nice, even if I have to say so myself. She is frae Glasgow, but she currently lives in London. She just said "deep fried pizza supper" which has probably caused a number of readers to go weak at the knees. Now she has said cockles and Jonathan Woss has asked her to say penis - which, in my opinion, is taking it too far. She would have been fully entitled to say "Woss - NO - that's taking it too far, gonni nae dee that". To which Woss would say "How?" and she would say "just gonni no - baw bag".

She just used a proper swear word, but they beeped it out, so I'm not sure which one it was - probably cunt.

Now she is talking about nearly getting a part in a film and having respect for actors, so she went down a bit in my estimation, be she recovered in an exemplary manner by rounding it off with "bend over and kiss my arse", you just don't get prose like that these days.

Now it is time for Harry Potter, so I'll get back to sorting out my new phone for a bit.

I've turned it on and all I can say so far is that it has a grand total of 0 decent games. Not much of a surprise there.
While trying to turn on Bluetooth so I can transfer my address book over I managed to find that doom is available for download for £5.00. I left it for now, but I am sure I'll end up downloading it as I do not like the idea of a new phone with no decent games on it.

Now the kaiser chiefs have come on. Old Wossy says they are from Leeds. the song was ok I suppose, bit when it finished you could hear one of them saying to another one that it sounded really good because either some engineer didn't tunr the mike down in time, or because they shouldn't have been speaking owing to the fact that the show has no policy for getting the mikes turned down after the band has finished playing.

Now it is time for the shining to be on. I've seen it before, but maybe I'll just watch it again while I try and find out how to sort my blue tooth out. Oh, and the other thing that is wrong with my phone is that it doesn't have Swedish on it - just a load of stupid languages that no bugger is ever going to want to learn to speak.